The only thing Brendan asked for as a birthday gift this year is a Belle dress. It is the first present he wants to open the morning of his birthday even before breakfast.
Last year is was the red glittery hat with the braid- Jessie from Toy Story. He lit up when he opened that gift. The Christmas just prior he asked for a dress. He wasn’t specific, just a dress. He got a dress. It was a Julius Cesear costume and still a favorite. But somehow this birthday, the actual going into the Disney Store (a place I have been *maybe* a total of five times in my parenting lifetime and almost always for other children’s gifts)- this was different.
I knew it was coming. Since before drama started he has been talking about a Belle dress. Being in the play only enforced it and seeing the lead girl who played Belle looking so beautiful only made him want it more.
For a minute I looked at the dresses, all full of glitter, and had to think, “are boy sizes the same as girls?” (I went with yes)
Then I got in line with other mothers and daughters purchasing their Princess things. “For your daughter?” the salesperson asked. “Nope, my five year old son. It’s the only thing he wants for his birthday.” I’m sure that’s not what she expected.
I walked by Legos in another store. Stores sell “girl” Legos now. They are pink and purple and are suppose to make girls want to be engineers, I think. Seriously.
There is entirely too much focus on girl toys vs boy toys. I go out of my way to be sure- as the only girl in a house full of boys- to make things as gender neutral as I can. Maybe too far. The boys think only men cook, do dishes, laundry and iron. But I digress. Aidan talks about future presidents saying “he or she.”
Toys are toys. Kids like what they like. You can wave a truck in front of a child all you want, if they like it, they like it, if not it won’t matter how many you buy. And kids are who they are. You can’t make them be an athlete if they don’t want to be no matter how many sports you sign them up for.
Brendan is who Brendan is. There is no label for Brendan. He just is.
One of the greatest things you can ever experience is seeing pure joy on the face of your child. Brendan is in his element when he is on stage and acting (or singing or dancing)- performing for an audience. He has a charismatic presence that lights up a room and quickly finds ways to play any crowd.
I don’t want to change a thing about him. He is who he is, there are no labels, only descriptions. And he is a great kid.
How could anyone not want to give him the only gift he wants?
“Discovering your element is allowing yourself access to all of the ways in which you experience yourself in the world and discovering where your own true strengths lie.†~Sir Ken Robinson, The Element
And as a side note, a psychologist friend of mine pointed out of all the princesses, Belle is the only one who does not give up her identity for a man or need to be saved by a man. She in fact saves the Beast and “wants more than this provincial life.” So at least he chose a strong female character!
