I love this age. Â I say it a lot but it is so true. Â Chris and I have been very conscious about raising independent children. Â We did, after all, send them to Montessori school. Â And it is paying off.
Now that they are older, we see them with other children more often. Â This has been especially true at camp since they are both at camps with children they often do not know. Â I was picking Brendan up recently and another parent asked me how it was that our pick up went so smooth. Â I was taken aback. Â I showed up at the time I told Brendan I would be there. Â I said it was time to go. Â I signed him out while he gathered his own stuff. Â Then we left.
Shouldn’t it be that easy?
I watched the boys look at Chris and me in London when kids their age were with grown ups who were doing things for them that we would never do.  They were confused.
We don’t have many rules. But if you are a member of our family, you contribute.
I do the food shopping- the boys carry the bags in and put everything away.
Chris does the dishes- they set, clear and clean up the table (and do this wherever they are, not just home).
Chris does their laundry, I fold it. Â They put it away themselves.
They are the ones going to (insert place- school, camp, etc)…. they can pack their own (insert what is needed- lunch, towel, script, goggles, sunscreen).
They ask for snacks but expect to get it themselves.  And they clean up after themselves.
They know how to vacuum if asked and how to clean the bathroom. Â (God bless Chris for impressing on them from their potty training days to always put the seat down)
They know where their clothes are, they pick out what they want.  If there is something that needs to be changed we will let them know.
We have taught them to tell time and continue to work on executive function skills. Â We impress upon them to be responsible, contributing good citizens. Â They respond (for the most part) respectfully. Â After all there are consequences for all actions (positive and negative). Â That has always been clear.
Our family only works if everyone contributes.  They don’t have allowances for doing the things that are their jobs.  After all, we don’t get paid for doing what we need to do to make our family run.  We are the adults and they are the children.  But it is still a team.
It doesn’t always work, and it has taken us nine and half years to get to this point but this is what works for us. Â Chris and I are continually evaluating what we are doing, the example we are setting and our expectations.
When a pick up goes smoothly, or we leave on time and everyone has everything they need or Chris and I just sit and relax while the boys go through their nightly routine, we are grateful.
I love that they are so independent.
